Kyden and Kasie’s Toilet

5/5 stars, It was a smooth, well-formed delivery, no straining or discomfort. The texture was just right, not too hard, not too soft. And the smell? Let's just say it was a potent reminder that I'm a functioning human being. All in all, a solid 5-star log dropping experience

It was a long night. I was pinching my cheeks for a a fatty minoski bro. Honestly… I was losing hope. It had been hours. The demons were getting to me and i was running out of time for sure. Finally i saw the sign. A tear fell out of my eye. I open the door and a signal left my brain and went straight to my cracken. I leaped… it was a leap of faith to make it to the toilet that would give me grace. I landed my cheeks on the seat and took in the moment for I knew all the pain and suffering could end at my own will. But why give in just yet? I wanted to truly appreciate it. So i made myself wait another 30 seconds just to make it that much mote relieving. Then. As the 30th second hit. I spread my chocolate starfish for the biggest, brownest, long, serving of toilet snack I have ever created

“Entering the bathroom felt less like a necessity and more like walking into my own funeral—except I was both the deceased and the grieving party. The toilet, poor thing, had no idea what was coming, and frankly, neither did I. The sounds that escaped me? They were less ‘human’ and more ‘demonic possession.’ Somewhere in the building, a smoke alarm probably went off. I stared into the abyss of the toilet bowl, and the abyss stared back, begging for mercy. The flush wasn’t just a function; it was an act of violence. When it was over, I sat there questioning everything: my life choices, my diet, and whether my family would disown me if they knew the truth. 1/5 stars—this wasn’t a bathroom break. It was a crime scene.”

10/10 out of body experience.